Did you move into your own place and are now regretting your stupid decision making? The laundry is everywhere, you have no dishes, the last real meal you had was three months ago and your new roommate is a racoon (what a cliché). Well listen up, here is: 8 foolproof ways to get your parents to take you back.
2. Acquire a gaming device
Buy the new Play Station 360 or the Xbox 4 and lock yourself in your room. You'll be busy all the time and keep 'forgetting' you have to move. Your parents will also be so frightened by the smell, food scraps and scavenging animals that, they'll borther you as little as possible. |
4. Start acting useless
So you found out you had no skills that would make you indispensable. Never mind that, for this next one you don't have to do anything. You might actually have to give up a couple of things. After your parents see you can't be trusted with simple tasks, like cooking, cleaning yourself and not touching the hot stove, they'll realise they can't let you into the real world. Be careful with this one though, it is high risk high reward. You might end up doing nothing at home for as long as you want or you might end up doing nothing on the street. |
5. Guilt them into letting you stay
As a child of a parent you were born with an uncanny ability to get your way using the 'guilt card'. This the time to use it all! That time when they forgot to sign your permission slip and you didn't get to go on the school trip, or when they forgot to pick you up, or maybe that time when they were drunk at your parent-teacher conference and they started dancing. If they do not let you stay you will publish your memoirs. |
6. Move to a country where living with your parents is the norm.
In loads and loads of countries generations of the same family live under the same rule. Grandparents, uncles, aunties, family pets, you name it. Visit one of these countries, pick the one you feel is the most crowded and join in. If anyone asks you who you are, just tell them you're their second cousin's aunt's stepbrother's daughter's child, they'll welcome you with open arms. |
7. Conquer the house
Enough is enough! This is your home, they can't just kick you out. You've tried everything and now you know what you have to do. Gather up your gang of roleplaying friends (we all have them) and charge to take back what is rightfully yours. Don't worry about your parents telling the police, dead men won't talk - and neither will they. They'll be way to busy with cooking and laundry. Soon you will be living like a medival king (the best kind of king). |
- Dear mom and dad,
will you live in my apartment? |
8. Invite them to move in with you
This is your last chance. Invite your parents to come live with you. They might say no at first, but after the flooding of the basement, the random garden fires and anomynous phonecalls in the middle of the night, they'll be convinced. Now for the real challenge, surviving living with your parents. You've done this before, but can you do it again? |